The Year That Was

For most of us, the end of a year brings with it a lot of mixed feelings. Reflections on the year that went by, hopes for the up coming year, resolutions, promises and the whole shebang.
Joining the bandwagon, I’d like to look back at the year I had.
While I have plenty of people to be grateful for, I am foremost going to call out that I did a couple things that I’m proud of.

After the shit show that was 2018, I decided that I had to do everything in my power to make 2019 a lot better. First thing I did was to start living by myself. And it was by far, the best thing I have done for myself in my life. Yes, it was supremely scary and lonely. But the amount of learning that happened is immense. I learnt a great deal just about myself and definitely got a little street smart. Of course, my friends helped a great deal. For this reason (and many others) 2019 will be the year I truly started to become my version of a functioning adult human.

I am also particularly happy about the professional collaborations I sought this year. I went out of my way to make sure I talk about my work, find like minded people to collaborate with and in the process, met some pretty great people.
Granted, there were days when this took the better of me and my anxiety came to fore rendering me incapable of even getting out of bed. But I know now that these one off days do pass and I hope that they will come far and less in between.

I danced so much more than ever this year. No, I wasn’t on stage, performing. But I was at home, dancing and creating work that I am happy about within the four walls of my home. And I also learnt that it’s absolutely okay to do that. And I’ve grown to believe that I’d rather put meaningful works of art out there than sell myself out. 2019 has been historic like that.

I have received so much strength and support this year from some of the most wonderful people. Friends from so many places have been there for me and my heart is filled with oodles of gratitude for each one of them. I don’t think (and I honestly thought about this) I could’ve done even half of what I did had it not been for these wonderful humans supporting me from whichever part of the world they are in.

Two of the most important things I have learnt this year is that A) Ask for help when you need it. There is no shame in it. Period. And B) Stop with that petty sense of entitlement; you are not the most awesome or the least awesome person in the world. The world owes you nothing.

I am walking into 2020 with a lot of hope and plans to make the upcoming year a lot more productive and enriching. *fingers crossed*

Published by TejaswiniHalthore

Hi. I'm a 25-year-old dancer and social worker. I love hot cups of chai and all things Indian.

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